It is all a big lie!

Ever have someone tell you something that seems totally legit, and you believe it wholeheartedly. I mean not just like in the sense where there is a bit of skepticism, but you are like YES! That totally makes sense and sounds right! Then your whole life changes as a result and you're are making decisions based on this "new reality," and you go headlong after that reality. That is the way I feel about the church today. You see I was living my life for many years without a relationship with God, I was not an atheist, but more of an agnostic. I believed there was a God, I was just not sure of who He was, and quite honestly I felt I was better being Him. The thought that a relationship could be had was far from me, and as this became a reality in my life changed everything. One of the main things that changed was my vocational path. I started to have a passion for ministry and more importantly, for a career in ministry. Not really sure where it came from, but to be honest, my intentions were not admirable. The intentions were self-serving, I had this vision for what works in ministry would be like and as I have often told people who aspire for certain things, "be careful what you wish for" and there has never been a more accurate statement than that of working in ministry full-time.

As I continued to work in a secular environment and faithfully serve in any and every position in the church, I looked to a position in full-time ministry as a dream come true. I mean get paid to do what I was volunteering to do? Who wouldn't want this to be the case? Now I did not say you get paid well as that is typically not the case except for the top dogs. Well the call finally came and to be honest I wanted to answer on the spot, I mean come on get paid to do ministry! How appealing it was, and while I did not start in a position as a minister, it was not long that I became a minister and worked faithfully at the vocation to become a pastor. The first couple of years, I was blinded by my ambition to see the realities around me and had I not be blind. I probably would have recognized the realities early on. As time went on, I started to see the ugly realities of the people I esteemed to become. This conflict was like a sickness in me. I felt the shame of the behavior of others and took it as my own. The things I saw and took part in were beyond shameful. This was not what I expected at all, and the struggles I dealt with were not the ones I imagined. I thought I would be helping people grow in their own faith, not dimming mine? Instead, it continued to decrease my own faith to the point I started to turn from God and His word. I moved to sin as a means of numbing my reality. The truth is it was completely embraced by most of the staff and especially senior leadership, so it became quite easy as a result. The things I kept experiencing grew more significant and more prevalent over time. In the beginning, was included in the small things, and because of my immaturity and trust, I did not speak up as I should have. I was working for Eve, and I was Adam, I felt like I was justified because you know "they made me do it!" Ugh, I am embarrassed even to admit it, but the truth is what I thought "church" was going to be and what it is are no longer the same thing. Don't get me wrong the lie is not the "church" as I know there are churches out there that are making a significant impact for the kingdom of God. The lie that I believed was that inside a body of believers, the truth would cause the leaders to rise, jeopardizing their positions, and stand up to it. The truth is, we as people want to be like the racehorse in life, we want to exist with blinders on. This is not about pointing fingers because I am TOTALLY guilty of this. I did it for years and realize it is a natural tendency.

Having gone to Auschwitz and Birkenau twice, I have seen the atrocities we are capable of, and it is sobering, to say the least. That being said, many look at it and say I have no idea how a people group could allow this to happen. I too use to say that, but it was the church that taught me to see that the realization of turning a blind eye to benefit our selves is human nature. The big lie is that people who are leaders will keep the truth and be honorable at all costs. The reality is the "cost" is the key! You see, I am not saying all this to say I am not supporting the church. Quite the contrary in my current role, all I do is support the church (like 120 of them). No, what I am saying is the cost of being a person of truth must be one we all discover for ourselves. This may be through trials, regrets, or self-awareness.
Finally, I don't want to be put in this position again. Therefore, one of the ways to ensure this isn't the case is to make sure a clear line of accountability exists. This accountability must start at the top and permeates the entire organization. That accountability is not only practiced but spelled out in the By-Laws. Yes, that is right I said By-Laws if you are considering joining a church one of the things I implore you to do is ask to read their By-Laws. If you are already part of a church and curious you can ask too. If they have nothing to hide, it should not be an issue. But beware, this is usually a massive tell as to where the leadership is regarding holding its leaders accountable. Holding the leaders accountable should be very clearly spelled out in their By-Laws.

I would love to end this post with a redemptive story. How this is all rectified, that truth has come to the forefront along with accountability. Sometimes we have to face the fact that we live in a fallen world, and yes, this includes the church. You see, like I said before the "big lie" is what we allow ourselves to believe and accept. Our failure to take a stand for truth and what we know is right is something that invariably hurts others more than ourselves, which is why it is easy to keep on keeping on. I want to leave you with this quote from Abraham Lincoln that sums it up best,

 "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
― Abraham Lincoln

Rewind

I heard it said once "that if I could rewind and take back the time" the question is would that really make the difference or impact you would want. I mean yes the old adage of if I knew then what I know now is poignant. The truth is I know as I am at the fifty-year mark of my life I see so many things I would have done differently, but if that would have any impact on where I would be today I would not have wanted to know it! 

The world we live in today has turmoil, and while there is a lot of degradation, there is also a lot more good today. I am sure you have experienced people who say they are afraid for their children and grandchildren's future. I am, not at all for two reasons. The first is I trust God with their future no matter! The second is that the future looks fantastic from my perspective.  I sit here in Silicon Valley and see so many working so hard to advance things and make them better. While I am not a tree hugger, I do accept we must take responsibility for our mark on this world and seeing people live with no carbon footprint is exciting to me! Honestly, if it makes the world a better place, isn't that Biblical any way? We are stewards of this world, so to deny that we have a responsibility to care for it is ignorant. 

Looking back, there are many things in my life I miss, and honestly, they are almost exclusively relationships. Years ago, I would have had a lot more items and places in that list, but age changes your perspective as it should. If it hasn't, then you need to ask yourself why? The truth is there are unfortunately no guarantees in our lives that we will be able to maintain any relationships till death except marriage and even that is not 100%, though I believe it is! Keeping hold of individual relationships is not always healthy. Though comfortable, familiar, and self-affirming, we have to be sure to recognize that being dysfunctional in these relationships does more harm than the good long term. 

I see a significant number of people who engage in long term relationships that continue to destroy their ability to achieve some great things in life. I also have known some people who were able to see their demise well ahead of the train wreck and get off the train. Not maliciously but in a way that honored everyone. Did some people get their feelings hurt, of course, but that is unavoidable at times. I was told once that if you're going to leave, leave well. I agree with that advice, though I don't think it is always possible to do so as I have experienced the hurts and pain that come with broken relationships. It is hard not to want to exact revenge on those that cause us pain. It is human nature to do so. That is not the answer and I don't agree with that as I see it from a Biblical perspective of God seeks to avenge not myself or any of the Marvel Characters. 

Now looking back on fifty years I have to say I have some people who I am connected with that are amazing, and I look to be connected to them for the next fifty! They are men and women who I see will stand for the right things and bring me to accountability when I am not honorable. They are people who will bring me forward, not back, and help me to keep my pride and ego in check. As I see it, Jesus called us to humility and being humble in this life continually growing in a lessor direction not greater. While counterintuitive to the world and the church today, it is His words, not mine, I am not responsible for answering for His words. I am responsible for my actions and as such if I go quietly in the night and the world does not know it I am okay with that as long I know that He will say, "well done my good and faithful servant." 

May you experience the blessings of great relationships in life as I believe they are what is truly important in both the here and the here after!